return my video game
why didn't you poke me back
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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