were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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