My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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