Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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