I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Randomize