never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
