After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
It's official drugs can't kill me
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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