It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Your cock deserves a montage
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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