This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
