we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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