let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
