16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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