as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
