did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
