He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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