Texts From Last Night

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  (301): View more from Maryland

  if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant

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  (301): if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant http://tfl.nu/x9ap
  Replies (5) Good night (1147) Bad night (583)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.

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  (214): I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this. http://tfl.nu/iqku
  Replies (46) Good night (7043) Bad night (670)
• Favorite

  (903): View more from Texas

  One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.

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  (903): One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down. http://tfl.nu/7y05
  Replies (26) Good night (1710) Bad night (5884)
• Favorite

  (260): View more from Indiana

  He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.

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  (260): He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again. http://tfl.nu/91lg
  Replies (17) Good night (1003) Bad night (2933)
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.

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  (913): My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism. http://tfl.nu/e4gb
  Replies (8) Good night (1976) Bad night (814)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly

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  (859): i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly http://tfl.nu/pft1
  Replies (9) Good night (3186) Bad night (753)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.

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  (608): We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth. http://tfl.nu/k58a
  Replies (29) Good night (2249) Bad night (928)
• Favorite

  (605): View more from South Dakota

  Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.

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  (605): Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs. http://tfl.nu/6a2k
  Replies (14) Good night (2134) Bad night (644)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.

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  (615): id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour. http://tfl.nu/zhs1
  Replies (4) Good night (2592) Bad night (693)
• Favorite

  (219): View more from Indiana

  All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights

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  (219): All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights http://tfl.nu/nkhu
  Replies (3) Good night (814) Bad night (385)
• Favorite

  (574): View more from Indiana

  I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.

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  (574): I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it. http://tfl.nu/5b4k
  Replies (4) Good night (550) Bad night (685)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.

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  (727): He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest. http://tfl.nu/r7wh
  Replies (3) Good night (305) Bad night (711)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them

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  (917): She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them http://tfl.nu/qyhd
  Replies (13) Good night (437) Bad night (741)
• Favorite

  (571): View more from Virginia

  He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.

  (818): View more from California

  He could of at least asked

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  (571): He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude. (818): He could of at least asked http://tfl.nu/04jo
  Replies (4) Good night (517) Bad night (385)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.

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  (815): I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle. http://tfl.nu/d26w
  Replies (0) Good night (398) Bad night (249)

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