The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.