I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
