I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.