i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
These 21 Declassified Government Horrors Are Unimaginable
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.