Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
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