I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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