I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
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