my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
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