you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
