is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
