Moan for me like Helen Keller
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
