Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
foreskin is a definite game changer
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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