hotel room ftw
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Randomize
