she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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