I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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