Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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