I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize