I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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