I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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