hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
