I think i peed on brittanys purse
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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