So drunk its hurt
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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