is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
