$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
He? As in you personified your dick?
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
