he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
found the other keg... it's in the tree
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
