can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
