it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
