He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
She bit a glass in half.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
