Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I wish i was in the wii world.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
