So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
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I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
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I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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