i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
My breasts were aching with rage.