Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
These 23 People Share the Worst Advice They’ve Been Given
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.