I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.