the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize