The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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