You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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