i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
