Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Randomize
