Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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