maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I just found a bag of teeth...
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
