But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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