Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
