i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
