I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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