How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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