So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
NoShamevember. You game?
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize