i'm signing you up for texting rehab
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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