I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
