An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
