Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
he had hair everywhere except his balls
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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