Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
