She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
