Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Randomize
