come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
