I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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